break ups, love, friends and hate
they all seem to circle each other when you dont need them too. i finish highschool and moved on to college,,,a place that has a wide selection of men to choose from,,new friends to make and drinking games galore...but did i press on no,,i stayed in my nit of friends and i watched everyone of them crash or leave me.

i knew people only liked me in highschool becuase of the way i was and who i was dating,,i knew they only put up with me,,,,knew i was leaving soon so they jsut played with me and my emotions,,some were after my bf that i had for most of grade 12 and the rest they didnt like him,,,finally i left that nightmare and found a dream i could stand it,,one that loked at me wiht blue eyes and said i love you all the time... he made me feel free and like i didnt haveto worry about a thing in the world.

still i felt alone knowing that as the summer days past and now almost at the end of november,,those people still dont talk to me..i fell saddenned in a way,,that all those people were jsut playing a game with me,,were jsut prolonging a hate  they had for me.

i had a few that stayed,,one has resently broken up with his girl and the other is confused about "his" girl. i dont even know how to help them becuse i cant even help myself..i fell lost and alone in side and my saviour can only do so much,,i  dotn tell him every thing that is wrong,,he doesnt heven know aboutthis note im writing,,,he doesnt know hoiw much i hurt inside for the others becae i hide it so well....